i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i think my cat just said my name.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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