He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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