If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
