I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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