Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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