# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Your mouth is God's brothel.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
