3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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