break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
