how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
