Can Purell be used as lube?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
