Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
