The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.