Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.