I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.