Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
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I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?