Your tits are I can't wait for
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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