she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
