Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
