You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
