We're like a lot better than the average bears
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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