If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
