Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
