I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
