brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
