idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
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He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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