Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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