I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I don't think brook has ever known best
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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