Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize