I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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