Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
