Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
