Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
