Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
