I'm so fucking centered right now
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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