ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
