i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Damn victory sex feels great
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