I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
