Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
