Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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