im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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