Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
