We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
