I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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