my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
