Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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