at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
