dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
