Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
