Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes