Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife

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(812): If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife http://tfl.nu/4wdu

Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (908)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.

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(662): They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say. http://tfl.nu/fs2e

Replies (70) Good night (10451) Bad night (1348)
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(917): View more from New York City

she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

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(917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q

Replies (74) Good night (3997) Bad night (18124)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on

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(630): i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on http://tfl.nu/rm4w

Replies (17) Good night (5384) Bad night (1040)
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(518): View more from New York

Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.

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(518): Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy. http://tfl.nu/8m2c

Replies (17) Good night (5190) Bad night (1514)
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(619): View more from California

It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.

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(619): It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot. http://tfl.nu/icc0

Replies (7) Good night (3222) Bad night (1177)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm never eating chinese again.

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(215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8

Replies (11) Good night (875) Bad night (4448)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?

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(337): How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/ms4s

Replies (6) Good night (2864) Bad night (863)
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(231): View more from Michigan

using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.

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(231): using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/yfpy

Replies (8) Good night (789) Bad night (2135)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.

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(480): Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face. http://tfl.nu/gk53

Replies (10) Good night (1150) Bad night (2358)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone

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(862): She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone http://tfl.nu/c8bq

Replies (9) Good night (3521) Bad night (729)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."

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(970): I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend." http://tfl.nu/7i0l

Replies (9) Good night (672) Bad night (2733)
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(716): View more from New York

Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning

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(716): Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning http://tfl.nu/8997

Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (215)
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(650): View more from California

Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around

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(650): Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around http://tfl.nu/5sia

Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (232)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.

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(440): I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house. http://tfl.nu/ronf

Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (365)

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