Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.

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  (248): The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out. http://tfl.nu/flyw
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (1243)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(

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  (502): So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-( http://tfl.nu/sog4
  Replies (26) Good night (1228) Bad night (4661)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.

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  (352): I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about. http://tfl.nu/yxic
  Replies (19) Good night (3990) Bad night (744)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings

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  (901): oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass (901): fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings http://tfl.nu/b0u6
  Replies (118) Good night (4426) Bad night (1371)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.

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  (509): def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout. http://tfl.nu/bt4a
  Replies (5) Good night (4140) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.

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  (847): Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant. http://tfl.nu/q6o4
  Replies (19) Good night (1192) Bad night (9090)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

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  (213): Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans. http://tfl.nu/11hu
  Replies (14) Good night (6134) Bad night (1697)
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  (530): View more from California

  he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.

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  (530): he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/2vwb
  Replies (11) Good night (2425) Bad night (922)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

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  (203): Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light http://tfl.nu/z2qb
  Replies (5) Good night (2036) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover

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  (530): I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover http://tfl.nu/xq4s
  Replies (7) Good night (2784) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.

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  (909): I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us. http://tfl.nu/99mo
  Replies (6) Good night (692) Bad night (2334)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.

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  (765): Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. http://tfl.nu/ym4c
  Replies (20) Good night (742) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs

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  (410): True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs http://tfl.nu/odrq
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.

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  (778): She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever. http://tfl.nu/jz26
  Replies (5) Good night (429) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.

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  (214): NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS (630): Fine. Suck all the fun out of life. http://tfl.nu/x7gr
  Replies (4) Good night (550) Bad night (204)

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