i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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