Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
