My friends, they love my intelligence
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
