Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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