i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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