there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
