Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
