HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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