So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
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I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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