I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
