Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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