I'm lost and stupid without you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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