weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
