My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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