just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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