I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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