Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I hate all girls vehemently.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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