she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
