Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
