Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
