Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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